Depression - spiritual, physical, or both?

Depression – Is it spiritual, physical or both? The answer is it can be either or both. Certainly sin can be a cause of depression, when a person is under great conviction. As Christians though I think we can be too dismissive of people who struggle with depression, simply chalking it up as the person not spending enough time with the Lord and in His Word. I have heard well-meaning Christians, who really have no clue because they have never experienced depression, tell other believers that very thing; they just aren’t walking with God like they should or they wouldn’t be feeling the way they are. If you are someone who has felt that way, had those thoughts, or actually told someone that, please read the rest of this blog.

Were there characters in the bible that battled depression?

§  Elijah – After a great spiritual victory over the prophets of Baal, Elijah said in 1 Kings 19:4 “I have had enough Lord, he said. Take my life, I am not better than my ancestors.”

§  Job – He seemed to have continual struggles with depression. “Why did I not perish at birth, and die as I came from the womb?” Job 3:11. “I have no peace, no quietness, I have no rest, but only turmoil.” Job 3:26. “I loathe my very life, therefore I will give free rein to my complaint and speak out in the bitterness of my soul.” Job 10:1

§  Jeremiah – The ‘weeping prophet’ often struggled with depression. “Cursed be the day I was born…why did I ever come out of the womb to see trouble and sorrow and to end my days in shame?” Jeremiah 20:14; 18

What about other godly people? Are there examples of their being depressed? Charles Spurgeon is known as the ‘prince of preachers’ and is one of the greatest preachers of the gospel this world has ever known. In 1858 at the age of 24 he had his first episode of depression. He later said, “My spirits were sunken so low that I could weep by the hour like a child, and yet I knew not what I wept for.” His depression was so severe, on occasions he would be out of his pulpit weeks at a time. Read his description of this debilitating disease: “Causeless depression cannot be reasoned with, nor can David’s harp charm it away by sweet discoursing’s. As well fight with the mist as with this shapeless, indefinable, yet all-beclouding hopelessness ... The iron bolt which so mysteriously fastens the door of hope and holds our spirits in gloomy prison, needs a heavenly hand to push it back.”

If depression were solely a spiritual battle surely men like Elijah, Jeremiah, or Spurgeon would have known to just “get right with God” and all would be better. It’s true that through the years I have battled depression myself but this article is not about me and I’m not currently going through a bout of depression. This blog is about helping Christians understand that sometimes the things they say to the depressed do more harm than they do good.

Here are just a few things that those who have depression with those who didn’t understood about the illness.

1. Depression isn’t the same as being sad. “We’ve all been sad. But feeling sad is usually a temporary state. Depression is long-lasting,” says Tina Walch, MD, a psychiatrist and chief medical director of South Oaks Hospital in Amityville, NY. In fact, you may not even feel sad when you’re depressed; you may simply be disengaged or disinterested.  
2. You can’t just wish or pray it away. “People think that you can just control depression,” says Ashley Valencia, a 30-year-old printing professional in Dallas. “But trying to help someone with depression by saying 'pray,' 'try to get over it,' or 'just try this or that' isn’t actually helpful.” What does help? “Be loving and kind and understanding,” Valencia says. “Instead of trying [to 'fix' me], let me work with my doctor to find real solutions.”
3. It’s a real disease. “Too many people still believe it’s not a real medical disease. But research shows that it is,” Dr. Walch says. Experts believe it’s caused by a combination of things. Depression is an illness, not a choice!
4. Depression medication does not turn you into a zombie. Not all people with depression need to take medication. But for those who do, there are many good medication options available that can help them feel better. (Talk therapy, lifestyle changes, and brain stimulation therapy are also good ways to treat depression.)
5. A few other things worth mentioning that your friends with depression wish those without it understood:
• “Reminding me that the circumstances of my life really aren't that bad doesn't make me feel any better.”
• “Don't talk about depression like it's something I can ‘beat.’”
• “If things are really bad and you reach out, I might not respond; don’t take it personal.”
• “We all have different coping mechanisms, so don’t compare me to your other depressed friends.”
• “Don't judge me for taking medication.”

Many of my thoughts above came from an article at https://www.webmd.com/depression/features/people-depression-wish-you-knew

If you are battling depression know you are not alone; please reach out and get help. If you have never battled depression and you don’t understand those who do, thank your God you have never faced it and pray that you never do.

Christmas Groaners

Christmas questions

• What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinselitis!
• What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus. 
• Whats the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
• What do you call Santa living at the South Pole? A lost clause.
• What does Santa bring naughty boys and girls on Christmas Eve? A pack of batteries with a note saying "toy not included".
• Why did Santa bring 22 reindeers to WalMart with him? Because what he wanted to buy cost around 20 bucks and just in case it cost more he brought some extra doe.
• How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb? Eight! One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down!
• What do you call an incomplete Christmas sentence? A santa clause 
• What do you call Santa if he also lives in the South Pole? Bi-Polar
• What does "The Grinch" do with a baseball bat? Hit a gnome and run.
• What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas? Thanks, I'll never part with it!
• I’ve got my girlfriend a wooden leg for Christmas. It’s not her main present – it’s just a stocking filler.
• I’ve invited my mother-in-law to come round for Christmas for the last eight years. This year, I might even let her in.
• Why did Frosty go live in the middle of the ocean? Because snow man is an island.
• Where does Santa stay when he is on vacation? A ho-ho-tel
• How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing – it was “on the house”

One Liners

• Every parent dreads that awkward moment when Santa Claus has the same wrapping paper as your parents.
• This holiday season, in lieu of gifts, I've decided to give everyone my opinion.
• Christmas is just like a day at the office; you do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
• The best Christmas present I ever got was a broken drum … you just can’t best it.
• Would you call a singing elf a Christmas ‘wrapper’?
• FYI: By the end of the Twelve Days of Christmas song, your home is crammed with 23 flying Birds and 50 hyperactive Humans.
• Remember to not leave a fire burning in the fireplace this Christmas Ever or you might wake up to a ‘Krisp Kringle’
• Watching Miracle on 34th Street makes me so santa-mental.
• Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
• Christmas is just plain weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree in your living room eating candy and snacks out of your socks?

Remember, a large part of Christmas isn't about how big the tree is, or what's under it. It's about who's around it! Be blessed and enjoy time with your family as you celebrate the birth of Christ!

Hostility at sporting events

It's a typical weeknight in December and you find yourself at your child's basketball game. The game is being played and everything seems fine until, in the estimation of many of the fans, the referee makes a wrong or controversial call. It is then that all ‘heaven’ breaks loose.

I officiate 4 different sports and do so because I love kids, love sports, and it is a great way to stay active and involved with both. The last few years it seems like the verbal abuse from fans has been ratcheted up several notches. If a call goes in the opposing team’s favor, blame has to be assigned to someone, and more times than not that’s the referee or official. Yes, something went wrong but seldom is it the fault of the athlete who may have committed the foul, turnover, or violation; more often than not fault is assigned to the official.

In one of the sports I officiate (not basketball), the assignors for that sport are constantly trying to recruit new officials and there were times last year when I worked games alone because there were not enough officials to cover all of the games. I think the abuse directed at officials is a large factor in why there are shortages of officials in almost every sport.

Because officials are “paid” to do a job, many feel it is within their rights to scream and yell at the official whenever they want. Here are a few things that parents need to know about referees and their involvement in a sporting event.

1.  The pay is nice but no one is getting rich – When it comes to officiating middle school and high school sporting events, yes officials are paid but it’s not much. And it’s even less when you factor in they are not paid mileage to travel over a several county radius to get to games nor are they compensated for the constant upkeep of equipment and uniforms.
2. The rules are complex – Not many parents have ever taken the time to read a rulebook for a particular sport their child plays. There are 100’s of rules in every rulebook and the officials are required to read these, know them, and are tested on them annually.
3. Contrary to what you might think the referee’s are not biased – Most officials have no interest at all in who wins. They simply want to give their best effort as an official. So the next time you are tempted to yell, “Call it the same on both ends”, know that the official is doing their best to do exactly that.
4. Seldom is a game decided by the referees – The vast majority of games do not come down to one or two calls by the officials. There have been a plethora of missed shots, turnovers, and violations, which contributed much more to a loss than the officials ever did. When a youth hears a parent or coach blame a loss on an official (“We would have won if the officiating had not been so bad”) that is simply teaching that young person to not have respect for those in authority. Unfortunately that often then translates to other areas of life as well for that student be it in their interaction with a teacher, a boss, a police officer, or whomever.
5. Referees are human and will miss calls – Players make mistakes, coaches make mistakes, and officials will make mistakes. When I meet with the captains before a game I often joke with them that if they promise not to miss any shots, we as officials won’t miss any calls. Trust me, when an official knows they missed a call, they feel horrible about it. At the game perfection is expected of no one except the official and that’s simply unrealistic.
6. Parents and coaches, please set the example for your young people - In the grand scheme of life, what's the big deal if your child won or lost? Of course giving one’s best effort is very important, but parents and coaches need to teach their kids and players the responsible way to behave. Often times, the kid who is constantly complaining to the referee has a parent that is doing the exact same thing. Teach the kids to be more accountable in their play and to accept consequences for their behavior. It's not just for sports, it's a life skill that will serve them well in the days ahead.

An uncomfortable post about an uncomfortable text

I begin this blog with a disclaimer: I am really uncomfortable writing on this. But writing it is easier than preaching it and most pastors I know will not write about it or preach it. A pastor who speaks or writes about honoring church leaders seems tacky at best and self-serving at worst. I have been a pastor for 27 years now and probably if the Lord allows, only about 10 years left in full-time ministry. So as I write this I am writing primarily for those who come behind me, for those who serve and are younger than me. I would be much more comfortable ignoring this issue or letting someone else write about it, but it is my heart God has laid it upon so my choices are to be obedient or not. If you are a member of Eastwood and reading this, I ask you to apply this and remember those who serve here: Greg, Ed, Justin, Ben, Megan, Dana, and Will. If you are not a member of Eastwood, please take this to heart and think of creative ways to honor your pastor (s).

I have often said that I have been called to preach the “whole counsel of God’s word.” To avoid this topic and text, which I have done for 27 years now, does not do justice to God’s call. I am called to address what the bible addresses. And whether I’m comfortable with it or not, the Bible addresses the issue of honoring our spiritual leaders. 

A couple of verses to think about are:

• Hebrews 13:7 “Remember those who rule over you, who have spoken the word of God to you, whose faith follow, considering the outcome of their conduct.”
• Ephesians 4:11 states God “gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastor teachers.”

When Paul told the church at Ephesus that God “gave” some to certain offices in the church, the implication is that those who serve as “apostles, prophets, evangelists, or pastor – teachers” are gifts to His church. I am sure there have been days the 4 churches I have served thought their “gift” was more a piece of carnival glass from a game barker than a gift from God. But we need to remember pastors, be they pastors of youth, children, senior adults, musicians, whatever, have been called to encourage, feed, equip, lead, and minister to the people of God.

Let me point out just a couple of things from Hebrews 13:7.

1. Paul says to “remember” – This has the idea of being mindful of, think about, or be thoughtful towards.  Remember there are times your pastors pray for you, pray with you, weep over your situation, spend time away on nights and weekends ministering to you… remember. The pastor carries a heavy load. Now before you take issue with this I acknowledge that we all carry a heavy load. But remember your pastor carries his load, but also carries yours and so many others in the church. So what should you remember? (1) To pray consistently for your pastor and family. (2) To serve the Lord’s church with gladness and give generously so that the pastor does not feel like he is always begging for workers and pleading for resources. (3) Don’t wait for a birthday or wedding anniversary to write a note of encouragement. The most meaningful notes are often those that are written with no special occasion in mind, their purpose is simply to encourage. Remembering a pastors’ birthday or anniversary is nice but I would challenge you to remember his anniversary date when he started serving your church. If churches honored and celebrated tenure, I am convinced tenures would likely increase in length.
2. Paul says they “rule” – This simply means they are called to lead.  Many today have problems with pastoral authority because of pastors that have abused their leadership position.  There is something very important to point out here from this verse, something that is lost in the simple English translation. When Paul speaks of those “who rule over you” it is in the passive voice. This means your pastor is not a leader in the church by personal choice, but rather because of the will and call of God.

If you are in a church that has a pastor, or in a ministry that has a pastor serving over it such as music or youth, then God has blessed you greatly! He has given you a man of God. He has given you someone who will pray for you, who will love you, who will tell you the truth, who will carry you in his heart, who will serve you faithfully and who will do so much for you that only in eternity will you know the depth of his commitment to you.

When I preach I try to include “take-aways” or life application where all understand what God is instructing from His word here.  If you have a pastor here are the take-aways:

1. Protect his time - Give him opportunity to pray and study the Word. Don’t expect him, his family or his home to be the center of entertainment for the community. Every pastor wants to be available when needed, but no spiritual man of God can be all places at all times for all occasions.
2.  Pray for him continually - Call his name out to the Father and ask God to fill him and use him.
3. Pay attention while he preaches - The sermon is not the time to be fiddling with the checkbook, looking through the hymnal, cutting your nails (I actually pastored someone who did this EVERY Sunday in church), surfing the internet, or taking a nap. The man of God has labored long and hard to prepare the spiritual meal. At least have the common decency to pay attention when he preaches! And please … unless it is an absolute emergency do NOT leave during the invitation.
4. Provide for the needs of your pastor – Simply put God blesses the church that blesses the man of God.
5. Please the Lord through your ministry to your pastor – How do you do that? Be creative. Celebrate anniversaries or pastor appreciation month or give a little extra at Christmas.

Some will no doubt read this and assume I am insinuating something that the church I serve either does or doesn’t do well. HEAR ME – This is not about me but rather ALL who serve in ministry. This is simply meant to be a prophetic word to the church about an area where obedience is needed to the Word of God.

Thank you for reading my heart!

Things I would tell the younger me

   Yesterday was the 31^st anniversary of my 21^st birthday (I turned 56). Today I sit at my 2^nd office (Starbucks) and have been contemplating things I have learned about life. And I pondered this question: If I could teach some things to the younger me, what would they be? I made a list of some things I’ve learned, some the hard way, and wish I’d have known them earlier in life.

•      While I regret some of the things I did when I was younger —there are many things I regret I didn’t do.
•      Good friends are one of life’s necessities; right up there with Mexican food and pizza.
•      Just because I might look “old” to someone in their 20’s, doesn’t mean I have to act in a way that proves what they think about me is true.
•      Saying "No" or “Sorry, I’m too busy” is okay.
•      You’ll never regret going out of your way to brighten someone’s day.
•      Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. You just be you.
•      Anything I need to know about living life well can be learned from a dog. Loyalty. Forgiveness. Unconditional Love. Pure Joy. Excitement about the same exact meal every single day.
•      My life is a book. Chapters end, and new ones begin. It’s not about one singular event but rather the overall story being told. Sometimes I wanted some chapters to end too fast, instead of savoring the moment. Sometimes I have let chapters drag on when I should have stopped and started a new one. But my goal should be to write each chapter so the story just gets better and better.
•      It is a thousand times more difficult to burn calories than to refrain from consuming them in the first place.
•      Every passing face on the street has a story to tell. And their life represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.
•      Words are immensely powerful. One cruel remark can wound someone for life.
•      Wishing things were different is a great way to torture yourself.
•      Either you control your attitude or it controls you. 
•      Time is the most valuable currency i possess. 
•      Life is more about the journey and less about the destination.
•      Some people leave this world far too soon. 

What are some things you’d tell your younger self?

Things you can't do no matter how hard you try

I was reading this funny list of things that are “nearly impossible yet you are going to try and do them when you read them.” Here’s the list:

1. Touch your nose with your tongue
2. Tickle yourself
3. Put your entire fist in your mouth
4. Write the #6 while moving your foot clockwise
5. Eat a spoonful of cinnamon
6. Raise only one eyebrow
7. Lick your elbow
8. Sneeze with your eyes open
9. Wiggle your ears (okay I can do this one a little)

 But the list got me thinking about what things we really can’t do … any of us. We live in a ‘can do’ society and so are there really things we can’t do? I think the answer is yes.

1.  You can’t do what God wants you to do and always avoid conflict – Remember that God’s ways are not the ways of the world. When we try to live for the Lord and let Christ be seen in our life, those who are not walking with Christ will oppose us and often present conflict in our lives. So we have to decide if we’d rather please God and endure conflict occasionally or please man and consistently avoid conflict.
2. You can’t follow Jesus and remain the same – Whether it’s in personal bible study, corporate worship, or prayer time, the Lord is always showing me something more about myself and His will for my life. I find it more difficult to stay the same than it is to change.
3. You can’t expect to impact the world if you are attempting to answer questions no one is asking – I think this is where the church often gets ‘lost in the weeds’ so to speak. Rather than taking the hope of the gospel and showing how it is relevant to how people live today, how it can take broken lives and make them new. We often get caught up in “church work” to where we forget to do the work of the church, namely loving God and loving others.
4. You can’t fail if you are doing what God has called you to do – We confuse the world’s standard of success with how God views success. Whereas the world judges success by profit margins, victories, positions, power, etc. God judges success simply on the basis of obedience. God didn’t tell us to win people to Christ; He told us to witness of Him. God judges our success simply by our willingness to obey.
5. You can’t honor God by trying to be someone else – God has uniquely made you; there is no one on earth exactly like you. When you or I try to be someone else we are in essence telling God that He got us wrong and so we will try and fix His mistake. Just be who God has called you to be, God doesn’t want it any other way!

 There are others I could list and maybe will later but these five are enough for now.