God's grace, how can it be?

Have you ever felt guilty? That is a rhetorical question because if you are able to read this you have no doubt felt guilt. At times, the Holy Spirit produces that ‘guilt’ through convicting us. However, there are other times where Satan produces that “guilt” in the life of the believer. In Revelation 12:10 Satan is referred to as “the accuser of the brethren”. If you feel guilt over something repented of and confessed, than it is under the blood of Christ and the Holy Spirit will never make you feel guilt over something under the blood. In Isaiah 43:25 God says He will remember your sins no more. Psalm 103:12 says He casts our sin away from us, as far as the east is from the west. Our sins God takes, as that theologian Buzz Lightyear says, ‘To infinity and beyond.’

Lauren Daigle is one of my favorite music artists right now. I was listening to Pandora just now as her song How Can It Be came on. I found myself resonating with the words. We all at times get to the place where we do not feel like we can enter the presence of God, that we are unworthy. Friend, even on our best day we are not worthy to enter His presence. If you feel that way and the cause is unconfessed unrepented of sin deal with it. Lauren’s song captures the idea of grace so well I wanted to look at it for just a moment.

The 1^st verse: “I am guilty
Ashamed of what I've done, what I've become
These hands are dirty
I dare not lift them up to the Holy one

You plead my cause
You right my wrongs
You break my chains
You overcome
You gave Your life
To give me mine
You say that I am free
How can it be
How can it be”

We are all guilty before God and ashamed of sin. 2 Corinthians 7:10 tells us “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation, but worldly sorrow brings death”. We recognize our sinfulness and as the song says our “hands are dirty, I dare not lift them to the Holy One.” But … I just love the word ‘but’ when you find it in scripture. Daigle writes, “You plead my cause, You right my wrongs, You break my chains, You overcome, You gave Your life to give me mine, You say I am free, how can it be.” 1 Timothy 2:5 reminds that we have a “Mediator” in the Lord Jesus Christ. He does plead our cause. He claims us as His and proclaims us free.

Verse 2: I've been hiding
Afraid I've let you down, inside I doubt
That You still love me
But in Your eyes there's only grace now

You plead my cause
You right my wrongs
You break my chains
You overcome
You gave Your life
To give me mine
You say that I am free
How can it be
How can it be

When we are genuinely ashamed of what we have done the enemy uses that often to drive us from God. Like Adam and Eve in the Garden we try to hide ourselves from God. The enemy tells us that we are not worthy, that God no longer loves us. Daigle captures this idea when she sings, “inside I doubt that You still love me.” I think the enemy has taken us all down that path at times. Daigle sings, “But in Your eyes there’s only grace now.” Hallelujah! When we confess and repent, God doesn’t see what we have done or where we have been. Instead, He sees what we can become and where He can take us. Friend our future as is white as new snow; we have not sinned in the future yet. We should allow guilt to drive us to God that we might experience His grace, but too often, we allow it to drive us from Him because of the accusations of the enemy.

Verse 3: Though I fall, You can make me new
From this death I will rise with You
Oh the grace reaching out for me
How can it be
How can it be

You plead my cause
You right my wrongs
You break my chains
You overcome
You gave Your life
To give me mine
You say that I am free
How can it be
How can it be

God’s grace is reaching out for you. He is actively pursuing you. Like the father to the prodigal sons, He stands ready to forgive and welcome you back into right standing as a son or daughter. First, you have to believe His grace is true and that it’s for you. Jesus gave His life to give us ours. The enemy reminds us of the truth of Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” And the enemy would love it if we stopped reading at the end of verse 23. However, in the New King James verse 23 does not end with a period rather only a comma. Hear verse 24, “being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus”. Your hands may be dirty and you may not feel like you can worship the Holy One. The good news is that His grace is greater than all our sins! Occasionally this causes me to stop and think, “How can it be?”

Best of the 'Yuk yuk's'

For about a year every few days I would post what I referred to as yuk yuk's. They were simple plays on words or puns. I read back through a bunch of them and picked out some that I thought were the best. If this is your type of humor ... enjoy. WARNING: Most of these are 'groaners'

1. The other day a clown held the door open for me … it was a nice jester 
2. Whoever invented ‘knock knock’ jokes should get a no-bell prize 
3. I put my grandma on speed dial … I call that Instagram 
4. Smoking will kill you and bacon will kill you but smoking bacon cure’s it 
5. My grandmother was a very tough lady. She buried three husbands and two of them were only napping 
6. I tried to explain to my 4-year old grandson it is perfectly normal to poop your pants … but he’s still making fun of me 
7. Why are there so many old people in church? They are cramming for the final 
8. How do you know you are old? People call you at 9:00 PM and ask “Did I wake you?" 
9. My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater 
10. How can you tell that you're getting old? You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you! 
11. Why do Retirees smile all the time? Because they can't hear a word you're saying! 
12. Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap 
13. I work out almost every day. Friday I almost worked out, Saturday I almost worked out, Sunday I almost worked out...
14. I tried water polo but my horse drowned 
15. My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. He was right—I feel ten years older already 
16. If attacked by a group of clowns … go for the juggler 
17. The past, present, and future walk into a bar … it was tense 
18. Ban pre-shredded cheese … make America grate again 
19. A cow stumbled into a marijuana field and the steaks have never been higher
20. If three Florida Gator football players are all in the same car, who’s driving? The police officer! 
21. Even Forrest Gump got into Alabama! 
22. Do you know why cows have hooves instead of feet? They lactose 
23. As a young child my mother told me I can be anyone I want to be... turns out this is called identity theft 
24. When I was 16 years old, the morning of my birthday, my parents tried to surprise me with a car, but they missed 
25. What's the difference between baseball and politics? In baseball you're out if you're caught stealing 
26. A mother complained to her doctor about her daughter’s strange eating habits. “All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?” “Eventually,” said the doctor, “she will rise and shine 
27. Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine? He made a spectacle of himself! 
28. Ad campaign gone wrong for a hospital: "Quality care or your autopsy is free." 
29. They tried to save him with an I.V. but it was all in vein 
30. A doctor drank while putting on patients' casts. He was soon plastered 
31. William Tell and his family used to be league bowlers. But now that records have been lost, it is difficult to determine for whom the Tells bowled 
32. By shear coincidence, all these sheep look the same 
33. A dog gave birth to puppies too near the road and was ticketed for littering 
34. The duck was in rehab because he was a quack-addict 
35. I removed the shell from my racing snail to make it go faster, but it just made him more sluggish 
36. Why do rednecks go to the movies in groups of 18 or more? 17 and under are not admitted 
37. You know you are a redneck when your definition of fast food is hitting a possum at 80 mph 
38. You know you live in a redneck neighborhood when the drinking age has been raised to 35 to keep alcohol out of schools 
39. You know you are a redneck when the only time you take out your toothpick is for wedding pictures 
40. My suitcase started crying when I picked it up. I was carrying emotional baggage.

 

Why pastors leave and why I left the ministry

Most have read or at least heard cited horrible “facts”     

about the number of ministers leaving the ministry. While it has been proven that those numbers are skewed to be much higher than the actual numbers, I want to reflect on reasons why pastors leave. I have been reading several articles from people like Thom Rainer, Ed Stetzer, and Leadership Network and found a number of reasons recurring in their research. I wanted to share some of those reasons in this blog. If you stay with me to the end I will unravel some of the reasons I walked away from the ministry. Here are some of the recurring themes in no particular order:

1.    Inability to separate – Many jobs allow for a person to leave the cares at the office when the day is over. For pastors, especially lead pastors the pressure is ever-present. The inability to disconnect can wear down even the best leaders.

2.    Spiritual warfare – In Mark 14:27 Jesus said, “It is written, ‘strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered.’” The devil knows this scripture and is an opportunist knowing if he can take out a leader he can often demoralize some of the “sheep” under that particular shepherd’s watch care.

3.    Finances – For some ‘finances’ means making ends meet for their family. Many smaller churches operate under the mantra, “Lord, you keep him humble, we will keep him poor.” The pastor should be able to live equal to the lifestyle of those in the congregation who are similarly educated and experienced. But there is also the financial pressure of the church budget. With statistics revealing that on 3-7% of average attendees tithe, the fiscal needs of the church family are a constant pressure.

4.    Burnout – The hours can be long, the phone calls late, and the concerns for the congregation never-ending. Think about this – the pastor never ever has a “3-day weekend”. 

5.    Things of the World – Demas in Colossians 4:14 and 2 Timothy 4:10 is a prime example of this. Business, family, position, and money are just as tempting and enticing to those in the ministry as they are to those that aren’t.

6.    Loneliness – Being the lead pastor of a church is a lonely job. Everyone in the church and many in the community know you, but no one really “knows” you. Many pastors speak of an inability to confide in parishioners because they have found that whatever they share, can and often is used against them at some point in the future. The last two churches I served, I confided in people who were close to me, only to have it come back and bite me in the future. This is a very real fear for pastors and loneliness is the result. 

7.    Pastoral foolishness – Many pastors are highly educated but lack sound principles of emotional health. Rather than viewing signs of burnout like inability to sleep, irritability, change in eating habits, etc. as being a warning to heed, they instead see it as a mountain to conquer. Pastors foolishly embrace the mindset they just have to “push through” these feelings rather than recognizing them for what they are, signs of danger ahead. 

8.    Moral failure – All of mankind is “prone to wander” as the hymn writer so aptly put it. Pastors are not immune to sin simply because of their calling or education.

9.    Family issues – Many pastors make mistresses of the church to the neglect of their family. Wives and children of pastor’s experience relational, emotional, and spiritual stress as they hear all of the gossip and see the underbelly of the church.

10.  Isolation- Where can a leader go when he is discouraged, tempted, or angry? The answer is usually not to his fellow pastors. The pastoral fraternity tends to be competitive and insecure.  A struggling leader typically doesn’t go to his staff, deacons, or congregation, due to legitimate concern it could get him fired. Consequently, he hides.

While these 10 reasons have been mostly internal to the pastor, there is a couple that correlate to the church that need to be mentioned. 

1.    Lack of leadership – Many deacons, elders, and committee members are in a position of leadership but have little or no desire to serve the body or cultivate spiritual disciplines in their life. When this is the case, the pastor is the one who pays the price, at least initially. Without leadership the pastor faces the brunt of the criticism when things don’t go as planned. When bad leaders are in positions that they are either experientially or spiritually unqualified, the vision of the church can and is often hindered.

2.    Toxicity – This takes the form of cliques, gossip, manipulation, or simple meanness. When a pastor repeatedly tastes the toxicity of emotional poison being spewed, they often walk away, never to return. 

This entire process of reading these articles and writing the last several blogs was to help me put my thoughts and experiences into perspective. Why would someone leave 1 of the 5 best (in my opinion) churches in the Kentucky Baptist Convention at the pinnacle of his career? Why leave after having walked with the church through the successful navigation of planting a second campus, a few dozen mission trips on 5 continents, and served in many state and national leadership positions … why walk away not just from this church but from ministry altogether? The answer is found in 1,2 4, 6, 9, 10, 1, and 2. Let me briefly explain.

• Inability to separate – it became harder and harder for me to leave ‘work’ at home when I entered the ‘safe space’ of my home.
• Spiritual warfare – no pastor leaves the ministry without this being a significant reason why.
• Burnout – rather than reading the signs as danger ahead, I simply tried to keep pushing through until I got to the place I could not punish any longer.
• Loneliness – I shared above that at the last two churches I had things shared in confidence with people I trusted to come back and bite me. The adage is true, ‘Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.’ I always wanted to believe the best and for the vast majority of people I shared confidence with the best was what happened. But it only takes one or two to turn to make the pastor gun-shy to trust anyone.
• Family issues – a few of these were brought on by years of ministry and a few of these were brought on by personal negligence and lack of intentionality. Either way my family has changed and will never be the same.
• Isolation – This is a cousin to the loneliness mentioned above. I served 4 churches in 28 years and in 3 of the 4 I had staff members that I could not trust with personal struggles for fear of whom they might share them with.
• Lack of leadership – this will always be a problem because of the fact people are at different stages in their walk with the Lord. Some accept church leadership positions because they want the ‘power’ that goes with it. Some refuse to let go of positions when they need to step away for a season to be refreshed by the Lord. In my last 6 months of ministry I had staff member openly admit he had not done something that I had given very explicit direction regarding. This was not because of the task being wrong or burdensome, but rather the staff member simply didn’t do it. I had a leading lay member storm out of a meeting halfway through the meeting then fail to be willing to meet with me and work through the difficulties; something that scripture admonishes us to do. 
• Toxicity – after serving 14 years at my last church, 6 months before I resigned I had another leading lay member look me in the eyes and question whether I had the “ability or capacity to lead us to fulfill (Eastwood’s) 10 year vision.” This leader shared their concerns with 3 other lay leaders. I waited 4 weeks for this lay leader or any of the leaders he shared it with to come to me and affirm my ability to lead. It wasn’t until I called a meeting with all who heard these comments as well as our deacon chair and chair of Leadership Committee were these comments walked back and my ability to lead affirmed.

Please understand that none of these things contributed more or less to my decision. I certainly didn’t leave ministry for the ‘things of the world.’ My last church compensated me very well. I took a job where I am currently making less than 50% of what I made as a pastor so I didn’t leave the ministry because of finances. My family struggles were probably the #1 reason I am not a pastor today. But all of these other things I think played into that decision and negatively affected my family over time.

Hopefully now I have closed this season of blogging about this ‘stuff’ and can move forward into a new day.

Tom

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