Fear of failure

Have you ever approached a rather significant moment in your life and suddenly been plagued by the thought “What if this fails?” or phrasing it more personally “What if I fail?” I have come to believe there is no shame in failure; even the most successful people have failed at rather significant times of their lives. Consider the following:

• Bill Gates (founder of Microsoft) dropped out of Harvard and his 1st business venture “Traf-O-Data” failed to get off the ground.
• Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor because “He lacked imagination and had no good ideas” … can you imagine?
• Albert Einstein, considered a genius by most, did not speak until he was four, and did not write until seven causing teachers to label him “mentally handicapped.”
• Oprah Winfrey early in her career was fired from a job as a television reporter because she was “unfit for television”
• Jerry Seinfeld, his first time on stage as a comic had severe stage fright and froze. He ended up being jeered and booed off the stage
• Stephen Spielberg, the widely acclaimed motion picture director was denied admittance three times into the University of Southern California School of Film, Theatre, and Television. He eventually gained acceptance to another school only to drop out to become a director
• In 1954 Elvis Presley was fired by Jimmy Denny, the manager of the Grand Ole Opry after just one performance telling him, “You ain't goin' nowhere, son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck”
• Michael Jordan, the man often lauded as the best basketball player of all time was actually cut from his high school basketball team. Luckily, Jordan didn't let this setback stop him from playing the game and he has stated, "I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

Did you catch what Jordan said? “I have failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed!”

There’s an interesting parable in Matthew 25 where Jesus tells the story of a man who would be traveling that trusted some of his “talents” to various servants. To one he gave five, to another two, and finally to one he gave one talent. When he returns the servants who’d been given five and two talents had invested them and returned even more to their master. But the one who had received one talent was afraid to fail so he buried the talent and returned to the master the one talent back. Jesus says the talent was taken from him and given to the others and he was cast away into outer darkness.

So here’s my point – when we refuse to try anything new, being paralyzed by fear, we are not living by faith. Faith, by the very nature of the word takes risks I believe. It is risky to love, yet we have faith that our spouse and children will love us back. It is risky to change jobs but we have faith the new company will take care of us and will prosper. Just about every area of our life requires us to take risks and live by faith.

Let me remind you of four simple truths that maybe will help you as you battle the fear of failing:

1. Everybody fails – The bible is filled with people who “failed” yet God loved and usedthem in spite of their failure. King David, a murder, adulterer, and liar repented and the Book of Acts calls him a “man after God’s own heart.”
2. Failure does not have to be the final – What if after being cut Michael Jordan decided to quit because he just wasn’t good enough to play basketball? What if Bill Gates decided he just didn’t have what it takes to cut it in the world of technology? What if Saul of Tarsus believed the lie that there was no way God would ever choose to use someone like him?
3. Look for the “benefits” of failure – the Lord used Peter’s three denials to teach him some things about the Father and His forgiveness so that when Peter preached at Pentecost he preached with power and passion!
4. Stop comparing yourself to others – Change your definition of success from being the best to rather doing your best.

So what is it you are afraid of failing at today? Marriage? Parenting? Your job? Remember that success is never final and failure is never fatal. If we had all the answers and could see into the future they wouldn’t call it “faith.”

Perspective part #2

After last night’s post on perspective I’m sitting in worship today and the Lord seems to give me chapter 2 of the “perspective” sermon He’s preaching to me. Eastwood’s choir was singing a “new” song … well I think it’s new to them anyway. It’s a 2009 Casting Crowns song entitled “If we’ve ever needed you.” There’s a place in the song where the lyrics are “If we've ever needed You Lord, it's now, Lord, it's now. We are desperate for Your hand. We're reaching out, we're reaching out. All our hearts, all our strength, with all our minds, we're at Your feet. May Your kingdom come in our hearts and lives.” As I listened tears welled up in my eyes and to be honest I began to have a bit of a pity party thinking about the things in my life that I’d change if I could; things that, as I shared in the sermon today that we all can say is true … things that just haven’t worked out completely the way I thought they would.

So amidst my pity party the Lord decides to show up and give me some more “perspective” and to be honest I was humbled by what He showed me. While I’m sitting feeling sorry about my “issues”, He directed my attention to the choir. I began to look row by row, face by face at those in the choir singing His praise; singing “If I ever needed you Lord it’s now!” As I looked I pulled out my worship folder and found a blank spot and began to make notes about what He showed me. Singing His praise today in choir were:
· A woman who not long ago battled breast cancer and the cloud of “what ifs” I’m sure is an ever present companion
· A sister who’s sibling is battling severe emotional issues
· A father with a daughter that is developmentally disabled
· A father with a wayward daughter
· A mother who is coping with the very recent tragic death of a son who died well before he should have
· A mother and grandmother dealing with having a daughter and grandson as missionaries overseas and the loneliness I’m sure that at times produces
· A lady with Lupus
· A daughter with unchurched or lost parents
· A man legally blind with many other health issues
· A police officer that I’m sure must have a heavy heart at times with all the sin and heartache he sees on a regular basis
· A husband and father fighting against the break-up of his family
· A father with a severely handicapped son
· A daughter who recently experienced the death of both parents
· A daughter whose aged father was recently in the hospital
· A wife who’s heart must ache for her husband as he grieves the death of his brother
· A daughter grieving the death of her father (her mother died a few years back)
· A lady who has lost much of her vision in one eye at a very early age
· A father with a wayward son
· A lady who has been battling all sorts of physical ailments
· A husband and wife praying for a wayward child

Now these were just the people singing in the choir, and as such were likely just a microcosm of the greater church family. My family has had some health issues as well as some struggles in finding God’s place for our lives but the point the Lord showed me is that our family is neither unique nor alone. Lamentations 3:21-24 says, “This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. ‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, therefore I hope in Him!” Psalm 33:18 states, “But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love.”

So is your heart heavy today? Are you feeling as though you have the weight of the world on your shoulders? Please know that you are not alone! Confess your belief in the Lord’s faithfulness and accept His grace to get you through this day. I have learned afresh and anew what the Apostle Paul said he learned when he prayed three times for the Lord to remove from him that painful thorn in the flesh. The Lord simply replied “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” So maybe today you are like me and feeling a bit weak .. that’s a good thing because now HIS strength can be made perfect and revealed through our weakness.

A little perspective

This weekend I worked a basketball tournament, volleyball tournament, a freshman district tournament and 4 parks and recreation league basketball games. It was a lot of fun but I’m pretty bushed. Several of the games I officiated came down to the last possession to determine a winner. The main reason I officiate so many games and sports is that I’m a sports nut! I’ve loved sports since I was old enough to play them. I’ll even watch a good hockey or soccer game on tv is there’s nothing else on, just to watch sports. The running up and down the court helps me with some good cardio workouts as well.

Tonight at one of the games a parent was yelling at me about a “rule” that as he said was “in the rule book” (it’s not – and isn’t a rule on any level of the game as far as I know of), but boy was he worked up about it. So I’m riding home tonight thinking about the intensity of some of the coaches, players, and fans, when the Lord granted me a little bit of perspective. I’m sure I will still get worked up when my team doesn’t play well or gives a game away (like Tennessee did today). And don’t misread me; in years past when I have coached I have been every bit as intense as the next coach. I’ve also been known to “give it” to the referees on occasion (ok – probably on many occasions). As I now see some of those referees that I used to give a hard time when I was coaching, I will joke with them and tell them I have “come over to the dark side” now that I’m officiating. So here’s the “perspective” part… you ready? It is JUST a GAME!

I understand to many these wins and losses are important, but in my estimation they are not nearly as important as the couple I know who recently found out (within just a couple of weeks of each other) that he is “terminal” with cancer and she is now battling cancer as well. These games matter little to the young couple I know facing an uphill battle to keep custody of their infant child. These wins and losses mean nothing to the relatively young man I know in a fight for his life with Leukemia or the pastor I know who also is battling Leukemia. These losses pale in comparison to the heartache and sense of “loss” of the woman who this week watched the death of the man who’d been her husband and lover for the past 64+ years.

So the next time I’m getting worked up over “my” team not playing well or I’m officiating and a coach or fan is wearing me out about something, I pray the Holy Spirit will whisper in my ear, “Hey Tom, remember, It’s just a game.” I still want to win (my philosophy is why play the game if you don’t really want to win) but I hope I remember that there are people all around me who’d love for their greatest concern to be whether or not their team “won.” I’m just sayin’…

The hardest job in the world

Today I was reading an article about “What is the hardest job you have had?” Man there are some tough jobs that people do … makes me appreciate even more what I have here at the church. Some of the responses included:
· Paper spinner in a textile factory
· Building decks for houses
· English language teacher overseas (we do this in Asia for one week and that’s tough enough. I can’t imagine having to teach grammar; various spellings of the same word like pair, pear, or pare; etc…)
· Line cook in a kitchen
· Working on a dairy farm
· Plucking chickens at a processing plant (now there’s a job I’d love to have … not)
· Tying rebar in a ditch

Anyway, reading these jobs got me to thinking about the toughest job I’ve ever had. Was it delivering newspapers outside door to door in Anchorage during the winter? How about the four years I spent as a “Pre-trial release officer” going in and out of the Tarrant County Jail in Ft. Worth? Or maybe it was the job in the lumber yard I had for one day (I quit because that WAS one tough job).

But as I reflected on these I think none of them qualify as the toughest job I have ever had. I think they pale in comparison in fact; that they were all much easier than the job I’m going to describe. I think the toughest job I have ever had is parenting. What makes it so difficult is the fact that there’s only really one way to learn to do it well … experience. You can read all the “self-help” books out there but in the heat of the moment when lives are affected by everything said and done experience is the only and best teacher. I look back and there are many things that I say “Wow God – you really helped me hit that one out of the park in that situation.” And there are other times when I know I failed miserably in a situation. Experience is about the only thing that you always get after you need it.

When kids are small they are so moldable and pliable. But when they are small, especially if you have multiple kids, often you are just happy to get everyone fed, bathed, and homework done. Then by the time you start to realize maybe I should have spent more time developing this character trait or that discipline, often the old patterns then are almost impossible to break. Parenting, you don’t get paid to do it but the benefits really can be out of this world. Parenting it’s a job that can bring the greatest joys in life and the hardest heartbreaks. Maybe there’s a bit of truth in what I’ve heard from others, that God gives us grandchildren to have a second chance. So what about you? What’s the hardest job you have ever held? What made it so difficult?

Dealing with criticism

One of the things I enjoy is officiating high school sports. Someone recently commented “I couldn’t do that job, all those folks yelling at me, I just couldn’t take it.” I find I have the ability for the most part to tune fans and coaches out. I get “into the game” and while I hear noise, for the most part not particular comments. Besides, at most games it doesn’t matter what you call, about 50% of the people aren’t going to like it. And those who do like that particular call are finicky and will turn on you the first time a call goes against their team or child.

You ever feel like that? That no matter what you do, or choice you make, you just can’t “win”? It reminds me of the story of a man on a long journey with his grandson. The pair only had one donkey between them. Their journey required they pass through five villages to get home. The man placed his grandson on the donkey and decided to walk alongside them as they traveled. As they traveled through the first village a villager commented: "Look at that healthy young boy making that poor old man walk." The pair couldn’t handle the criticism so they switched places.

As they entered the second village they heard someone say: “Would you look at that. That healthy grown man is making that poor little boy walk.” Again they didn’t like the criticism so they decided they both would ride the donkey together. Both atop the donkey traveling through the third village they overheard: "That’s animal abuse both of them riding that donkey. One of them ought to get off and walk.” Again, they didn’t like the criticism so they both got off and started walking.

Entering the fourth village they overheard a woman say: "Can you believe that? You would think one of them would have sense enough to get on that donkey and ride.” They didn’t like the criticism so one more time they decided to change things. Entering the fifth village the villagers were amazed at what they saw. Before them they saw an old man and his grandson walking carrying a donkey on their backs and they criticized them.

It really is true that at times no matter what you do, someone will offer criticism. In reading Job this morning I was reminded of some truths about criticism that I wanted to share. In the first chapter of Job, God tells Satan that there is not a person like Job on earth; none as righteous and upright as he. But then Satan accuses God of protecting Job, that if trials come his way he would curse God. So God allows Satan to afflict Job with great trials. As the story unfolds Job’s three “friends” come to him and offer commentary about his plight; try to tell him that his struggles must be due to some hideous hidden sin.

As I thought of their coming to Job there are some lessons we can learn. First, remember that critics do not always speak the truth. These friends tell Job basically that bad things only happen to bad people (one of the greatest lies that hell has ever put upon mankind). Remember, that not everyone who claims to have a “word from God” does! Another important lesson here is that we need to remember that at times even friends will criticize you.

So how should we respond to criticism, especially when it is untrue? First and foremost stay focused on the truth. Do not get sidetracked by what others perceive the truth to be but rather stay focused on what you know the truth is. Job knew that what they were accusing him of simply was not true. It’s like the story of the boy who entered a grocery store and asked the grocer for a box of Tide detergent. When asked why he needed the detergent the boy replied "to wash my cat." The grocer looked down at the young lad and said “Young man, you shouldn’t wash a cat with this Tide!” But the boy insisted it would be okay and so he sold him the Tide and watched him leave. A few days later the boy was back in the store looking a bit sad. The grocer asked him about his cat and the boy said “Oh, he died!” The grocer said “Son I warned you not to wash your cat with Tide." The boy shook his head and said, “The soap didn't hurt him one bit. It was the spin cycle that got him." When difficult times come, they are often accompanied by criticism. When that happens stay focused on the truth, and then the “spin” others try to put on the truth won’t hurt you.

Another lesson from Job handling criticism is to not attack those who criticize you. Though we are tempted to “fight fire with fire,” as tempting as that is, it typically leaves a hangover of hurt feelings and broken relationships. There’s an important turning point in Job. While disagreeing with his friends as to the reason of his suffering, Job did it without being argumentative or vindictive. And in job 42 the Lord God comes to Job’s defense. After speaking words of comfort to Job He turns his attention to Job’s friends and their false accusations. But for me the real turning point is Job 42:10 “And the Lord restored Job’s losses when he prayed for his friends. Indeed the Lord gave twice as much as he had before.” Did you catch it? Let me quote it again with emphasis: “the Lord restored Job’s losses when he had prayed for his friends.” It’s interesting that things turned for Job when he prayed for those who had wrongly criticized him.

So, have you been criticized unfairly? If so, how have you handled it? Maybe today it’s time to take some of your “friends” to the Lord.

His,

Tom

Some fun with growing old

So I'm really freaking out about turning 50. I know ... some of you are saying "But preacher, you've often said 'Age is mind over matter, if you don't mind, it don't matter.'" I knew some of preaching would come back to haunt me. Well anyway, a friend here at Eastwood sent me something funny today that I laughed out loud as I read some of these things ... I hope you can laugh too!

Perks of reaching 50

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run ... anywhere.

4. People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, 'Did I wake you?'

5. There's not much left to learn the hard way.

6. Things you buy now won't wear out.

7. You can eat supper at 4 PM

8. You can live without sex but not your glasses. (oh come on you know it's funny)

9. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

10. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

11. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

12. You can sing along with elevator music.

13. Your eyes won't get much worse.

14. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

15. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

16. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

17. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

And the most important thing to remember as a 50 year old: Never, ever, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on the same night!

So many posts on blogs (mine included so far) are serious. I think at times we need to lighten up and have a little fun. I hope maybe I brought a smile to your day.

His,

Tom

Winter, snow, and my walk with the Lord

With a tad of frustration I awoke this morning realizing it had snowed again here in Bowling Green. I can vividly remember as a child wanting it to snow; a day out of school was seen as a God-send. And believe me, I saw my fair share of snow growing up, after all I spent from the beginning of my 7th grade year to the Christmas break of my 10th grade year living in Anchorage Alaska. As a kid, there was just something about sledding, snowball fights, hot chocolate, and snow angels that made snow so wonderful.

But as I’ve gotten older, I find my “desires” have changed. I long for the “dog days” of Summer. I don’t know if it’s my age or what but I love hot dry days. Oh I can still participate in a good snow ball fight and have been known to sled a hill or two, but my body (I’m fast – really too fast approaching 50) always seems to remind me that while the mind in many ways is still that of a child, the body sure isn’t. Or maybe it’s the grime that always covers my truck after a snow that gets to me. Or possibly the gloominess of Winter days, but for whatever reason I find that I like Winter less each year and find myself dreading the forecast when the weatherman says “we can expect 1-3 inches of snow by day break.”

Sitting here at the office today I found myself looking out my window at the white and wonder of last night’s snow fall and began to see some spiritual lessons in all of these “feelings” I’m having. I realistically realize that my days of hoping to make a spiritual impact for the kingdom of God are quickly passing; unless I live to be 100, I have passed the mid-point of my life. I look back and see so many wasted opportunities, open doors if you will that the Lord placed in front of me that for whatever reason I never walked through. Why is it that we never see these opportunities until they are past? I remember the wonderment of being a young seminary student, spiritually making snow-angels so to speak in the safety ofthe campus as I delighted in the thoughts of where I was, and thoughts of changing the world. Oh, I still think I can impact this world, but now I see that it only happens one heart at a time.

Winter also serves to remind me of the times when I have allowed my faith to grow cold. As a pastor I find it so easy (I actually think this is easy for every Christian) to get caught up in “doing” the work of the ministry that we forget to spend time with the One who called us. I find myself sacrificing that which is "best" on the altar of that which is "good." An example of this is how I will often sacrifice my time with the Lord because of the need to make one more hospital visit or attend one more committee meeting. I can’t think of a single time when it was the Lord’s fault for my faith growing cold. In fact I believe His desire is for me to spend daily time with Him, to be made more each day into the image of Jesus. I wish I could honestly say that I have fully learned this lesson of not sacrificing my daily time with the Lord, but I find it’s really a daily battle to prioritize my time with Him.

Staring out the window at my white F-150 Ford truck (man do I LOVE Ford trucks), I find myself irritated as I look at the grime up the sides of my beautiful precious truck. In all honestly I haven’t washed the truck for a few months because it seems futile. Every time I think about taking it through the car wash, I hear a forecast of snow. But as I find myself so frustrated by the “dirtiness” of my truck, I suddenly ask myself if the grime of sin upon my soul bothers me as much as the grime on my truck, and, if I’m honest the answer is no.

So here’s what I think I will do with the rest of my day. First, I think I’m going to spend some time with the Lord and experience a spiritual “washing.” I’m going to spend a little time staring into the “Son-shine” of glory and hopefully then reflect a little of His light and warmth to others. I’m going to hopefully learn (again) the lesson that it’s not a matter of how many days, months, or years I have left on this earth that matter, but rather will I make them count for the King and His Kingdom. Then I’m going to go home, call Aaron outside, and plaster him with a snow ball (grin).

Thanks Lord for the lessons of Winter, they are difficult but necessary.

Why is there evil and suffering?

I have been meaning to start a blog for some time now but simply haven’t taken the time to do it. Plus, to be honest, I’ve wondered if anyone would read it or be interested in the ramblings of a Baptist pastor from South Central Kentucky. But today someone I respect came through the door I was at after church and said something that at the time seemed fairly random. This man said “For what it’s worth the Lord told me for you to put this message on Facebook.” I contemplated over lunch whether I would do that and exactly how it might take shape if I did. The end result (besides a headache) of my thinking about this and pondering if I should do it, the end result is the formation of this blog.

I’m sure there are going to be times when you read one of my posts and scratch your head and say “That’s it, the boy has flat lost his mind.” Heck, there are days when I read something I’ve written or said and wonder the same about me. But that just seems to affirm the fact that God has a sense of humor.

This morning, I attempted what I think is actually impossible apart from the work of the Holy Spirit. I tried in one message to answer the question of why there is evil and suffering in our world. With a God that is all powerful, all wise, all loving, and inherently good, why is there such rampant evil in the world in which we live? I’ll be honest with you up front and admit that I don’t have the complete answer to that question but I do want to write a bit about what the Lord showed me.

A couple of years ago our family had left after dark one night to head toward South Carolina to see our daughter where she was attending college. We had found some back roads that shave about 30 minutes off the trip, roads that stop us from having to go through Nashville. That particular night there was a lot of fog and it was difficult to see very far in front of you. Outside Hartsville, Tn a car pulled out in front of us headed in the same direction and the tail lights were amazing. I found that as long as I kept that car in front of me and could see its tail lights, that driver was actually guiding me through the windy roads. I tell you that because I think that pain and suffering tend to obscure our view of God. We don’t “see” Him clearly, especially when we are in the midst of a trial. But God in His words has provided some “tail lights”, some pieces of truth, that if we will look to them will guide us through the fog of our pain.

I’m sure there are many ways that God uses pain and suffering in our life. I don’t believe He’s the “author” of that pain and suffering but rather that He can use it for His glory. I think there are three primary ways, at least in my life, that God has used pain and suffering. First, I think God uses pain and suffering to bring others to Christ. One look at prayer meetings across our nation the Wednesday evening after 9/11 show that pain and suffering has a way of bringing people to Christ. Second, I think God uses pain and suffering to build character. Character is not primarily built from blessing but rather from adversity. Finally, I think that God uses pain and suffering to correct His children. At times when we stray God will use some painful event in our life to draw us back to Him. The times I have faced His chastening have never been “pleasant” but always have been necessary. When I was a small child my grandfather used to make me go outside and pick the switch that he was going to whip me with. I found out something pretty quickly that also has a remarkable spiritual application. Logic would tell you that when you are getting whipped to get as far away from the switch and the one swinging as possible. But the lesson I learned is it always hurt worse the further I stood from grandpa. I found that the closer I got to the one giving the whipping (my grandfather in this case) the less it hurt. So here’s the spiritual application, when God is chastening you, the closer you get to Him during the process, the less it will hurt.

So what are the “fog lights” from the Word of God I referenced earlier. I mentioned four this morning in the message. First, while God is not the author of our pain and human suffering, he can and does use it for His glory. God took the most horrendous event of human history, the cross, and made something beautiful from it (our salvation). Now if God can take the absolute worst event in human history and gain glory from it, surely He can gain glory from our pain as well. Second, we need to remember that one day all of this pain and suffering will be over. Many wonder why God doesn’t end it now in light of the great suffering around the world. The only answer I find is that He is longsuffering not willing that any should perish (see 2 Peter 3:9). Third, our suffering pales in comparison to what blessings God has planned for us. We cannot begin to even imagine how wonderful heaven will be (see 1 Corinthians 2:9). Fourth, and I’m convinced this is a difficult one, is that pain and suffering will make us either bitter or better. When we experience pain, we all become “runners.” Some will run to God and some run from Him, but pain never leaves us standing still.

So what’s the bottom line? There’s one reason and one reason alone we live in a world filled with such pain and suffering … sin. We live in a fallen world that will never be “right” until the Lord returns.

As long as He tarries or leaves me here, I hope to continue to figure out ways to live right in a wrong world. It will not be easy but it’s what God’s called us to do. Until next time … peace.

Bro Tom