Difficulties

Thom Rainer believes part of his calling as President of Lifeway Resources is to encourage pastors. He often blogs about issues that pastors face, and he typically “nails it” and I think that’s why so much of what he writes speaks to me. Today his post asked “What specific part of being a pastor is the most difficult for you? Here are my five tough challenges for pastors.” Here are the 5 things Rainer, who has pastored 4 churches of varying sizes, says present challenges to most pastors. The first five points are his but the comments are mine. I’ve added a few of my own “difficulties I face” at the end.

1. Responding graciously to someone right before you preach. I’ve often told the folks I pastor that I typically am not available before worship begins. I learned the hard way that the devil will use hallway conversations to get me “fired up” and on more than one occasion I found myself then preaching “in the flesh”. So knowing this tendency of mine I avoid conversations before worship begins as a safeguard to keeping my attitude right and staying in the Spirit.

2. Knowing what do with a staff member who is not making a vital contribution to the church. This is one of the toughest aspects of pastoring a multi-staff church, especially if your temperament leans toward conflict avoidance. Some pastors I’m sure have abused the power of the pastorate by letting staff members “go” when there was really no justification. As a result churches tend to make it very difficult for a pastor to deal with an unproductive or disloyal staff member. Unfortunately, the end result is that when the pastor can’t “take it anymore” he moves to a different ministry setting and the church ends up keeping the unproductive staff member. It ends up being a loss for everyone. The pastor leaves maybe before his work there was over. The church loses on many fronts. And the unproductive staff member loses because without accountability, there is no motivation to improve.

3. Loving a person in the church when that person is your critic. I know I want to be Christ-like and love people the way the Lord loves me … without conditions. These “critics” typically either throw stones anonymously so as to not have to take ownership of their comments. And the problem, at least for me, is that whether anonymous or not, criticism of the pastor often wounds the pastor’s family. This is the reason it’s hard to love those who are critics.

4. Preparing more than one quality sermon a week. For 19 years I prepared what I hoped were 3 quality sermons a week. The last year I have given over the Wednesday evening service to another staff member which has made it somewhat easier to prepare messages. But there’s the constant tension of making sure your sermons are constantly improving.

5. Doing the funeral of a person who was not a Christian. There have been times families wanted me to preach their loved one into heaven. I will often ask family members if their loved one was a Christian and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “I don’t know”. But the amazing thing is the number of times they don’t know because they never asked or shared the gospel.

6. Balancing the tension of being “available” to everyone and being “available” to no one. When I am available to everyone, those are the times my availability to God suffers. So some pastor friends allow the pendulum to swing too far in the other direction and they are available to no one. Thank God for great ministry assistants that protect their pastors time.

7. Knowing when to be “real” and to whom to be “real”. Most pastors know the heartache of being burned by a trusted friend. Jesus was burned by Judas. I’m not saying that all who at some point turn on their pastor / friend are “judases” … just that it is difficult knowing when someone can take my being real with them. We pastors often try, many times because of the high expectations for the office, try and maintain a pretense of spirituality. Unfortunately that keeps most friendships shallow and pastors dealing with the frustration of loneliness.

I’m sure this list crosses over to the laity as well. I’d love to hear what issues / frustrations you deal with on a regular basis. There is something cathartic about being able to put them down and take ownership of these feelings. Thanks for reading my blog.

25 fun things to ponder

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is whack?
6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
10. Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
21. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
22. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
23. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
24. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
25. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

So what are your favorite "ponderings"?

"Dangerous people"

I was reading a really good article today on www.churchleaders.com entitled: “Do you know the most dangerous person in your church?” It reminded me of a sermon I preached in February of 2009 entitled “The most dangerous people in the church”. I thought I’d summarize the points the Nebraska church planter made in his article today, then write about the text and points I had in my sermon.

Erik Raymond is the Omaha church planter that penned the article. He makes the case that this “dangerous” person is not who we’d immediately think of. He says it’s not the: unbeliever who doesn’t know the church language, or the Christian who is what he calls doctrinally anemic, or even the “Arminian sniffed out by the Calvinist in 20 seconds flat". In his estimation the most dangerous person in church is the seemingly smart bible guy who is “unteachable”; the guy who might say “Don’t confuse me with the facts, I know what I believe.” Like when my friend Phil Hoskins at his church, Higher Ground Baptist Church in Kingsport, Tn had a large issue before the church and he started speaking to what the bible might say about the issue before them. A man stood up and said something to the effect, “Preacher, we all know you know lots more about the bible than us, so don’t go bringing the bible into it!”

Raymond then gives some “signs” about why this guy (or gal) is dangerous. First, they are dangerous because he is “gospel-eclipsing” meaning he has it all figured out. Whereas the gospel calls us to continue to grow in our understanding, this guy has all the answers before the questions are asked. Second, he’s dangerous because he is “critical”. He likes to Monday morning quarterback (2nd guess) every sermon and decision made by leadership. Third, he is dangerous because his attitude of unteachableness is ultimately divisive. Fourth, he’s dangerous because in his being unteachable and constantly second-guessing leadership he robs leaders of joy (See Hebrews 13:7, 10). The fifth reason he’s dangerous is because he’s a “time waster”. Raymond says he takes the time of the staff wanting to argue what he considers the “finer points” of the gospel message and mandate.

Raymond then gives some very practical advice on how to deal with people like this. He states:
1. Pray for him
2. Minimize his influence
3. Watch him and the sheep – care for him spiritually but be keenly aware of the sheep at large and how he might influence them
4. Lovingly aim to teach him
5. Confront him when necessary

In my sermon I used Matthew 13 where the Lord gives the parable of the “wheat and tares” (weeds). I found the text fell into 4 easy points.

First, where do they come from. Jesus, in verse 39, clearly says the enemy who “sowed them” is the “devil”. Jesus said he sows weeds among the weed to destroy the crop. In Ephesians 6, the Apostle Paul reminds us that are battle is not against “flesh and blood” but rather the enemy is Satan.

Second, I looked at who are the dangerous folk. They in all likelihood are some of the most “religious” among the group. The have religion but not a relationship. Membership but do not know the Master. As Paul said to Timothy, they have “a form of godliness but deny the power thereof.” In other words they are religious, love to be in church on Sundays with their bibles under arm, but are lost. This can be true of laymen and leader alike. I honestly believe at one point I hired a member of my staff at a previous church, that later, by his attitude and actions revealed he was lost.

Third, I considered what their mission might be. Jesus said the devil comes to “steal, kill and destroy” (John 10:10). These folks are being used by the enemy to trip up and tear down. Given time, the weeds will always reveal their true nature.

The fourth thing I pointed out that the text explained was where they work. Jesus said the enemy came “at night” to plant the weed seeds. The devil will always try and take the path of least resistance. He doesn’t want a fight but rather to divide and conquer.

I then concluded with the same thought I want to finish this blog with, namely where should we expect Satan to do his most damaging work. One of the attributes that God has that Satan does not is His omnipresence; God is all places at all times. Satan though has to pick and choose where he will be. Having to pick where he will attack it makes sense to me that Satan will spend most of his time attacking churches that are alive and reaching people with the gospel. Why attack a “dead” church when you have them right where you want them? After all, it’s best to let a sleeping dog lie, right?

The real tragedy of the parable is that in Jesus’ account the tares never have their nature changed to that of wheat. The good news today is that anyone who has the nature of a weed, while there’s still life flowing through their body can be changed by the grace of God and receive a new nature, John 3 Jesus called it being “born-again”.

Secrets Pastors Keep

Thom Rainer in The Christian Post wrote an article entitled “5 Secrets Pastors Refuse To Tell”. This struck a chord with me. Through 21 years of pastoring I’ve heard horror stories and even lived a few myself. There’s the pastor that is very successful in that his church has multiplied through his years of ministry there and in his denomination he’s called a success story. But then if you get inside the façade you hear of feelings of depression and feelings of “What else can I do to earn a living?” That is a question I’ve heard often through the years, “I’d do something else if I only knew how I could support my family”. Sad … but true.

I read today of another pastor who for years kept this secret well; the secret pain he felt, until it became too much to bear. He decided to leave the ministry without a plan. I Heard of another pastor who spoke about fantasizing of how he could get kicked-out of the ministry, without losing his wife, or going to jail. It was then he made his plan to step aside...instead of running. Now to some of the pastors that reads this, I’m sure there will be a little “Been there, felt that” … even if the feeling or thought was only fleeting. To the layman who reads this, you are probably scratching your head thinking “What in the world?” Layman, let me caution you about being too quick to judge these feelings from your pastors, as they are but mere fallible humans as are we all. Pastors keep their secrets for a couple of reasons. One, the fear their ministry will be hurt in the eyes of those they serve with. Or two, as I have experienced on occasion, some laymen just aren’t ready to accept that their pastors have serious “personal issues” they deal with as well.

So what are the 5 “secrets” Rainer says pastors keep? I’m glad you asked. Here they are with some of his comments and my thoughts.
1. “My marriage is struggling” – I’d add to this “My children are not perfect”. I think there is this need in congregations to for whatever reason hold their minister’s family to a higher standard than everyone else. It’s that “fishbowl” pastors often speak about. I remember one time about 15 years ago my daughter was just being a kid one day at church and an older layman made some statement like, “She ought to know better, she’s the pastors’ daughter”. It was something silly like running in church. I made sure he understood that he needed to give my child the same grace he gave to other kids … grace to simply “be kids”. Rainer says, “Pastors' wives sometimes wonder if their husbands are married to them or to the church. Resentment and marital fights are not uncommon.”

2. “I fear my kids will grow up hating the church” – Our children, as much as we try to shelter them, are often exposed to the “dark side” of church life. They see and hear things that they shouldn’t, maybe said about their mother or father, in a hallway or business meeting. And it is a very real fear pastors have that their kid’s years later will hold all churches / Christians accountable for the hurt they feel.

3. “I let a handful of critics control me” – I recently told our congregation a story about a man who ordered a million frogs and had them shipped to him. When the box arrived, he counted and there were only 500 inside. When he called the company to complain the salesman said, “I’m sorry, but when they were croaking they sounded like a million.” It doesn’t take but a few “vocal croaks” to make life miserable. The sad thing is, often the vast majority love and support their pastor, yet they are not vocal in their support. I thank God for those encouragers He has placed in my life throughout the years.

4. “I often have anger toward the supportive church members who don't defend me to my critics” – I often tell the story of the deacon at my 1st church that in a deacon’s meeting one night poked me in the chest in front of 5 other deacons, and said, “Preacher, if you want to take this out to the parking lot we can settle this right now”. That hurt! But what hurt worse was the fact the other 5 men sat there silently and let him do it.

5. “I’ve thought about quitting several times” – Almost every pastor I know, that I’ve had a relationship with where we could be honest with one another has experienced and expressed this feeling somewhere along the way. As Rainer points out these pastors confess, “The only thing that has stopped me from quitting is the call of God.”

I’m sure pastors could add to this list of 5 things some things they feel they are unable to share for whatever reason. Pastoring is a tough job; it’s not for the faint of heart. Thanks for taking the time to read my blog and for doing what I know you will do … praying for your pastor.

Leading by faith ...

Vision is defined at www.dictionary.com as “something seen or otherwise perceived”. Tonight we share a vision for a new ministry paradigm at Eastwood that will hopefully allow us to maximize making disciples, capture on a regular basis the excitement that comes when our two campuses come together, and reach more people for Christ. I recognize this is a Baptist Church and “change” for many is a four-letter word; change typically does not come quickly or without great consternation. But for too long I think leaders of the church have abdicated their responsibility to lead, primarily out of fear of the “backlash” they might face for leading courageously. I want to share some principles of leadership that I think will help a church, any church, if the leaders will follow them go forward.

1. Ask God to make you passionate about what you do and believe to be true – often I think pastors see role in the church as a job to fulfill rather than a calling of His will to follow. We should be like Jeremiah in Jeremiah 20:9 “But if I say, ‘I will not mention His word or speak anymore in His name,’ His word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.”

2. Lead out of conviction not comfort – there are times that doing what is “right” and what is “easy” are mutually exclusive. As leaders, we should never lead with the motivation to gain the applause or appreciation of man. Paul said in Galatians 1:10 “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (NIV). Proverbs 29:25 puts it this way, “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.” (NIV).

3. Believe it’s unnecessary to have all the “answers” before you obey God’s will – Abraham would be buried today in Ur of the Chaldees had he decided to wait until he had all the answers to follow the Lord. To walk by faith we must first live by faith. I absolutely love Hebrews chapter 11. To look at the long list of people who lived lives of faith and faithfulness. There are two verses at the beginning of the chapter that speak so well to this. Verse 1, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen”. And verse 6, “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.”

4. Pray bold prayers for the people you pastor – Time and again we find the church in Acts praying prayers of great boldness. Today we pray prayers of safety. “Lord, please don’t upset the way things are going right now; it’s all running like clockwork”. There’s a lot of churches He needs to “upset the way things are going” as I believe He is upset at how they are going. The early church prayed for conversions whereas we pray for comfort and contentment. We ought to pray to God asking for things that we believe to be His will, that unless He shows up and accomplishes it, it will not happen. This ensures that when it does happen, He gets the glory. As William Carey, the father of the modern day missions movement said, we should “Expect great things from God, attempt great things for God”!

5. See people through the eyes of God – it’s a constant battle to see people the way the Lord sees them, through eyes of love and compassion not condemnation and judgment. This principle alone, if realized, would radically change most churches for the better.

6. Stop trying to be _______ church – God has uniquely gifted and called the people you lead for the time and place you are at. We don’t have to try what’s working someplace else to see if it will "work" here. We simply have to get hold of the heart of God and not let go.

I’m praying that I will be a pastor of faith that leads a people of faith.