“It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” During the Christmas season this is the message that is thrust upon us at every turn. And Christmas IS wonderful! It is wonderful because we are reminded of God’s great love for us. Since our sin prohibited us from getting to God, He came down to us in the form of the Lord Jesus. Looking at the Christmas story we see the humble beginnings of Jesus’ earthly existence. He was born in a barn, wrapped in strips of rags, and placed in a feed trough for a crib. In this we see the reality of what Jesus said in Mark 10:45, “For the Son of man came not to be served, but to serve and give His life a ransom for many.” His was a life of humility as He lived and ultimately died, so that we could live for all eternity with Him.
But for many, Christmas is not so “wonderful”.
- To those who experienced the death of a loved one, Christmas is a painful reminder of what was once shared. The empty seat at the Christmas dinner table points to the hole not only at the table, but in the heart of all who loved the one who once sat there.
- To the empty nesters there is a deafening silence as the scurrying of little feet and shrieks of joy are replaced by awkward silence. Their thoughts drift back to the times they got up at 6:00 AM because the kids were up, and they wanted to see what Santa had brought them.
- For the single or single-again adult, Christmas Day is often dreaded. I remember Christmas Day 2019. I found myself single once again after 34 years of family memories at Christmas. I spent the day with my parents and that was great. But I have found that you can be with people and yet still be painfully alone.
- For those in the hospital since the days of Covid, Christmas is much less than wonderful. Family typically cannot be with the one in the hospital so both the patient and family feel the pain of being apart.
My point is this: we need to be extra sensitive to those around us, not just at Christmas, but most definitely at Christmas. As words like joy, merry, happy, and wonderful are everywhere we turn, those who have legitimate reasons for feeling depressed, sad, and alone often internalize the idea of what’s wrong with me, why can’t I be happy like everyone else. If you are reading this and identify with the feelings of sadness and despair, I’d love to be a friend to you through your pain. Feel free to reach out to me.
In complete transparency, sometimes, at least in my instance, some of my separation has been brought on by the person who gives me the most trouble … me! Life is a journey, and we all grow and change over time. It is kind of like the bank that hired a young man. While working there he watched the president of the bank who was very sage in the way he conducted business and presented himself. Finally, the young man gathered enough courage and went in to ask the president how he could have the same wisdom and demeanor. The president looked at him and stated, “I have learned the only way to make good decisions is by learning from all the bad decisions I’ve made over the years.” I believe we all have made bad decisions; decisions that we regret. We must learn from them, not repeat them, and move on.
The unfortunate thing is that many who knew us during the time of our less than desirable decisions do not understand that people change and grow over time. They only see the pain of what happened, often years ago, and cannot let go and accept that just as they have changed with the passing of time, so too have the people they feel hurt or betrayed by. So, for them, and us, all are painfully trapped in the window of judgment producing isolation and pain for all involved. When we are judged at our worst, the one judging us in not seeing us at our best.
This Christmas, if you are ostracized from family by your actions, or the judgment of others, it is time to reevaluate things. Hopefully we all can learn to empathize with others instead of criticizing them. If we can, it enhances our capacity to consider their feelings, rather than project our unresolved pain on them.
Mistakes, that’s the story of my past and most likely my future. But I don’t cringe or protest. I accept my destiny, knowing I have learned from and been changed by my mistakes. This Christmas, I strive forward, knowing I am not alone. Christmas, not always “the most wonderful time of the year” but it is a time we can reflect. I have grown and learned from the mistakes I have made in the past. I am not the man I once was and thank God I am not the man I will be as He continues to develop me. Growth at times is painful, but it always beneficial. May your Christmas be blessed this year as you sense His presence with you and in your life!
