Sunday, March 17, 2019

Reflections from the 1st Sunday as a 'non-pastor'

Last night I spent some time thinking about worshipping today as a layman for the first time in 28 years and 3 months. I've been on vacations and worshipped but even then you are still someone's pastor. I began to look up some of the Baptist churches in the area (there aren't many). Knowing what to look for, like First Baptist Rolla affirming the 1963 version of the Baptist Faith and Message instead of the 2000 revision, and another church using the Baptist General Convention of Texas bible study literature instead of LifeWay, I realized that these churches leaned a little left of where I wanted to be. So I broadened my search and found Greentree non-denominational church. They are affiliated with the Christian Church denomination but are independent and autonomous. The worship online appeared to be something I'd like and similar to what I am accustomed to so I decided to worship there.

The worship was everything I hoped it would be and then some. The sermon was spot on and spoke greatly to me and that's what I want to spend the rest of this blog post reflecting on. It was evidently the final message in a series entitled "The Greatest of These" based on 1 Corinthians 13. The adult education pastor preached on "love keeps no record of wrongs". He began by talking about how humanity as a whole, including believers, are not quick to forgive. He used Michael Vick as an illustration. Michael Vick was an all-pro football player who was arrested for his part in an illegal dog-fighting ring. Vick spent 21 months in prison for his crime. When he was released he went on to play for a few NFL teams. In every city he would go to he was met by protests. The Kansas City Chiefs put him on staff as an unpaid intern after he retired, and Chiefs fans were incredulous and said they would never again cheer for the Chiefs. The pastor made clear he was not defending Vick but rather pointing out Vick had paid for his crime and yet people were not willing to forgive. He compared our willingness to forgive with God's. Some of the great "heroes" of the bible were great sinners; Moses killed a man, David committed adultery with another man's wife then had the husband killed, and Paul killed Christians just for being Christians before he became one. The giants of the scriptures were all very flawed and God in His great mercy and grace chose to forgive them.

The pastor then related some real-life examples of what our forgiveness should look like. He told about Louis Zamperini the United States Olympic runner in the 1936 Munich games who later as a soldier washed up on the Marshall Islands and became a prisoner of war. Zamperini was often tortured because of his notoriety as an Olympic athlete. When Zamperini came home after a couple of years as a POW, he turned to alcohol until one day he went to a Billy Graham crusade and gave his life to Christ. He would end up going back to Japan and visiting in prison some of the very men that had tortured him; his specific purpose was to extend to them forgiveness. The pastor then told of Corrie Ten Boom who was arrested during WWII in Germany for hiding Jews in her house. Her family was arrested and she and her sister were taken to Ravensbruck. Her sister died in the camp. In 1937, after the war was over, Ten Boom was back in Germany speaking about God's forgiveness when she spotted in attendance one of the guards who had tortured her and her sister. When the service was over the guard came up and told how he'd been a guard at Ravensbruck; he obviously didn't remember Ten Boom but she remembered him. He told how he'd since come to Christ and asked for her forgiveness. She chose in that moment to forgive that former guard. Finally, the pastor used the example of Jesus on the cross, praying to the Father asking He forgive those who were in the process of murdering Him. 

His application had two aspects: (1) Who in our life do we need to forgive. People were invited to a table to write down names of anyone they needed to forgive, and then discard those papers in a trash basket at the foot of a cross. It was meant to be a symbolic physical gesture of choosing to forgive. I didn't go forward and write anyone's name down but the Lord identified a few people in my heart I needed to forgive and I tried to do it during that time. (2) The pastor said we often have a difficult time forgiving ourselves. He said, "No one is so good of a sinner that they can commit sins that God will not forgive." That resonated with me. 

About this time we went into the 2nd song of what we Baptists would call the "invitation" or "time of commitment". The song was Good Good Father. I have sung this song many times before but the Lord spoke to me today in that moment. 

The first verse says, “I’ve heard a thousand stories of what they think You’re like. But I’ve heard the tender whisper of love in the dead of night, and you tell me that You’re pleased and that I’m never alone. You’re a good, good Father, it’s who You are, and I’m loved by You it’s who I am.” The words brought tears to my eyes. I’ve struggled in the area of letting go of things I have done and forgiving myself, and it was in that moment that the Lord told me He was more concerned with me as a person than any act I may or may not have done. It wasn’t like He was condoning any sinful acts of commission or omission, but was simply saying He loved me, He was a good Father, and that I was not alone. It’s been awhile since I was moved to tears in worship but today, knowing the Father loved me, and knowing I was not defined by what I did or didn’t do, but that He loved me “for who I am” as the song says was exactly what I needed to hear.

If you need to forgive someone why not do it today? Chances are your unwillingness to forgive is doing far more damage to you than it is to them. But more importantly are you willing to forgive yourself? We do have a good, good Father; that’s who He is, and you are loved by Him. Allow Him to love you today for who you are and accept His love and forgiveness that He extends because of Jesus. I learned much in my 1st day of being a “non-pastor” and worship was good!

Signed,

Loved by Him for who I am

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