A few more lessons learned as a pastor

Today I want to write about a few more things I learned as a pastor.

1.     Long-term pastorates are a blessing and can be a curse – I believe the national average for pastoral tenure in SBC churches is now approaching 6 years which is up. I exceeded those averages at the last two churches I served (Alpha – 9 years 9 months, and Eastwood 14 years and 5 months). So what do I mean by being a blessing and a curse? It is a HUGE blessing when you get to do things like baptize children that you saw in the hospital the day they were born. When you see some of the ones who were mere children when you arrived grow up, start a career, get married, and have children of their own. These are the types of things you would never get to experience with even the national average of a 6-year tenure. It’s also a blessing because somewhere between years 5-7 you become the pastor. People begin to realize that you are there to stay and are more willing to follow you. So how can a long term pastorate be a curse? There are times that a pastor’s voice can grow stale. Pastors can only be passionate about so many things and once those things have been stressed … repeatedly … there is a tendency to tune a voice out. This isn’t necessarily intentional as much as it is “I’ve heard that and know that, so what’s new?” Also, around year 10 people who were leaders when you arrived and have continued to serve in leadership capacities will often question whether you are leading in the right direction. I don’t think this is always intentional but more of the “We need a fresh voice to speak to this” mindset. 

2.     A small number of people have no problem taking up a large amount of your time – Being a pastor is being around people. So hear me when I say that I know a pastor has to spend time with his people to have influence and the freedom to walk with them and speak truth into their life. That being said, there are those members that always want to monopolize your time. Be it in the line as you greet people after a service or in your office. I remember many times when guests would be standing to meet me on a Sunday morning and someone I knew well and saw all the time would stand there telling me a story … most often about themselves … and I’d catch out of the corner of my eye the guest leaving. When these time-monoplizers stop by the office and ask if you have a “minute to speak to them” you always have to allow at least 30. So here’s the lesson I learned here – guard your schedule because some will abuse your time if you let them. Make sure you get to spend the time needed with the people who need your time … not just the people who always want it.

3.     Families pay a steep toll for a loved one being a pastor – I will be honest and admit that I only recently learned this lesson through the help of some PK’s (preacher’s kids) who are adults now and were members of the church I was pastoring. They shared with me some of their experiences. When a pastor is young and trying to win the world single-handedly, it is easy for the church to become his mistress. When this happens both he and his family pay a great price. Also, I have learned that my children felt a great deal of pressure being the “pastor’s kid” even though I tried to shield them from that as much as possible. Unfortunately I didn’t learn this until they were adults out on their own. If you are a young pastor that’s reading this I want to tell you that you will not learn this lesson until it is too late … unless you make changes now.

These are just a few more of the things I learned being a pastor. I’m not sure if these are beneficial to those of you who read my blog but they are cathartic to me as I reflect and write.

Tom