fun things that made me go hmmmm

So I like to collect these things I call “ponderings” … thinks that make you go “hmmmm.” I know I’m twisted a bit different than lots of folks but I find these funny to read and thought I’d share some of the best of them that I have collected through the years.

• If a robber tried to rob a dance club and yelled, "Everybody get down", would all the people start dancing?
• If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
• If your named Will and you are in the army do you get worried when people say fire at will?
• When you put 'THE' and 'IRS' together, it forms 'THEIRS'. Coincidence? I think not!
• If Dracula has no reflection, why did he always have such a straight part in his hair?
• If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods, would someone else make a sound?
• Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?
• How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
• Do you need a silencer if you are going to kill a mime?
• Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
• Why does your nose "run" and your feet "smell"?
• Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
• Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know you don't have the money?
• Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
• Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? Ever notice how in the 60’s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and the same people take Prozac to make it normal?
• Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
• What disease did cured ham actually have?
• If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
• Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway!
• Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
• If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
• Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one
talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Final food for thought: Statistics on sanity say that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends … if they're okay, then it's you.